Before I went on my life transformation journey, I was on another path. I had always considered myself a motivating and encouraging force, even for myself. However, during the course of about two year span, I found myself fighting to remain positive. Many factors played into the inner critic taking over my spirit and soul. My body was hurting and I didn't know why. My only child and daughter moved fourteen and half hours away to begin her new career after she graduated from university. Professionally, I'd been grappling with low sales and an ongoing pervasive attitude amongst many of my peers which promoted self-serving attitudes and an "information is power" mantra. Some withheld ideas and ways to help others reach readers. To be honest, all I seemed to hear was we need money money money... not we need to write a kick butt book that readers will fall in love with and want to read over and over again.
Negative speak entered my brain... the inner critic started to call me fat and lazy. The inner critic punched my usually happy self hard in the gut and told me I wasn't trying hard enough in every area of my life. The inner critic got fed more negative speak by other people in my world, by the loneliness that comes with being a writer in a room by herself day in and day out.
The inner critic shriveled my spirit while my body continued to bloat with unnecessary calories eaten out of frustration and anger and a sense of constantly fighting for what I had worked so hard for as a writer and as a woman.
Women eat their mad emotions. And I ate a lot. That's why I weighed over 200 pounds a little over a year ago.
Then someone who loved me, who'd been my best friend since I was eleven years old, got a hold of my inner critic and said STOP TALKING LIKE THIS TO MY BEST FRIEND. YOU ARE HURTING MY HEART.
My inner critic retreated to be replaced by an outside voice who reached for my shriveled spirit to remind her that I do matter. That what I have accomplished matters. That what I have given others throughout the years matters. That I MATTER.
Slowly, I regained my equilibrium. It didn't happen overnight. And you can read all about that journey to health and fitness here. AS I regained my health and fitness physically, my spirit renewed and demanded I refuel her too. I started reading books and articles that encouraged me. I began to weed out the negative speakers in my life bit by bit. I only allowed myself to say nice things to myself about everything I am doing. And I learned that it's okay to fail on occasion or have a setback as long as the people who are in my world support and encourage me too.
Now I am making a real commitment to focus on positive, generous, optimistic attitudes. I'm embracing those who exude those same qualities.
Quality over Quantity is my motto now.
I'm only allowing quality experiences be part of my life. I'm choosing to deliver quality in how I interact with others and how I approach my writing and editing careers. Quality in equals quality out.
If I can impart any wisdom at all today it is to surround yourself with people who build you up and please be kind to yourself no matter where you are in your journey toward health, fitness and spiritual well-being.